Fertility Hot Takes
Fertility Hot Takes We Stand Behind (Even If They Ruffle Feathers)
By The Wellness Lounge
There’s a lot of noise in the fertility space. A lot of pressure. A lot of oversimplified advice that leaves people feeling broken, blamed, or completely alone. So today, we’re saying what needs to be said — even if it challenges the norm.
Here are the fertility hot takes we stand behind — rooted in compassion, science, and deep respect for your journey.
You're not alone — and it’s time we talk about it.
Infertility is on the rise, but still wrapped in shame and silence. 1 in 5 women struggles to conceive. Let’s stop whispering about it and start building real, supportive conversations that reduce stigma and increase understanding.
First-time conception: About 85% of couples conceive within the first year of trying, with roughly 75% pregnant by six months, and 90%–95% by two years
Second-time conception (secondary infertility): Around 11–12% of couples experience difficulty conceiving again, even after a prior successful pregnancy. In specific cases like post-cesarean, up to 20% of women report challenges conceiving a second time
Third-time conception (recurrent loss): While data on third-time conception delay is less standardized, about 5% of women experience two consecutive pregnancy losses, and 1% experience three or more consecutive losses
Infertility is a symptom, not a diagnosis.
Too often, the label of “infertility” is handed down like a life sentence. But infertility isn’t a final diagnosis — it’s a symptom of something deeper. Hormone imbalance, inflammation, autoimmune activation, metabolic dysfunction, trauma, or chronic stress… your body is trying to tell you something. It’s not failing you — it’s protecting you.
If you’re struggling to conceive, the issue didn’t start in your eggs or sperm. It’s usually the downstream effect of years of compounding stressors, imbalances, or unaddressed dysfunctions. We have to work upstream — not just treat the symptom. We have seen when the root cause issues are addressed in both partners, healthy and optimal conception is easy.
We believe that when we support you in healing and becoming your most optimal self, we’re not just helping you conceive — we’re investing in two people becoming the healthiest parents possible, laying a foundation for the lifelong health and well-being of your child.
Recurrent loss is devastating — and deeply misunderstood.
Not everyone knows the pain, shame, and isolation of experiencing multiple losses. And fewer still understand the toll it takes on both partners — emotionally, hormonally, relationally. These aren’t just medical events. They’re heartbreaks. And they deserve support, not silence.
In the company of others, healing can begin.
Trying to conceive can be an emotional rollercoaster — full of hope, frustration, isolation, and uncertainty. That’s why community matters so deeply. Having a supportive circle — whether it’s friends, family, a partner, or others walking a similar path — can help lighten the emotional load, reduce stress, and remind you that you’re not alone in the process. We know it can be hard, especially when it feels like everyone around is getting pregnant so easily. Shared stories create space for healing, reduce shame, and offer perspective in moments that feel overwhelming. In a journey that often feels private and heavy, community offers the kind of strength and grounding that no lab result ever could.
35 isn’t a fertility cliff.
The idea that women must conceive young to have a healthy pregnancy is rooted more in history than in current science. Historically, women had children earlier in life — often out of necessity, cultural norms, and shorter life expectancies. But that doesn't mean fertility is limited to our twenties. Today, with advances in nutrition, medicine, and individualized care, many women are having healthy pregnancies well into their 40s — and in rare but documented cases, even into their 50s and 60s. The outdated term “geriatric pregnancy,” typically applied to pregnancies after age 35, doesn’t reflect the reality we now see: age is a factor, but not the only one. Health, hormone balance, and lifestyle play even more powerful roles — and when we optimize those, we expand the possibilities for motherhood beyond arbitrary timelines.
It takes two to create optimal conception.
The spotlight often falls entirely on the woman. But fertility is not a solo act. Male fertility is half the equation — and in many cases, a major determining factor in whether conception happens easily, at all, or if a pregnancy is viable.
Optimizing fertility isn’t about one person carrying all the weight (emotionally or biologically). Both partners need be adjusting lifestyle, nutrition, stress levels, and overall health to prepare for conception. You’re co-creating a human - the investment and effort is mutual like a team.
Even when fertility issues are male-factor, women often take on the medical burden of IUIs, IVF, injections, and appointments. It’s time to balance the load, bring both partners into the plan, and offer real emotional support through it all.
While assisted reproductive technologies like IUI and IVF can offer hope, they’re not without risks. Studies show that women undergoing IVF have a 20–30% increased risk of pre-eclampsia, a 40% higher chance of gestational diabetes, and up to twice the risk of preterm birth compared to natural conception. Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) occurs in 3–6% of IVF cycles, with severe cases in about 0.1–2%. Repeated stimulation cycles have also been associated with a slightly increased risk (up to 1.6x) of borderline ovarian tumors later in life. These numbers highlight the importance of full-body support before, during, and after fertility treatment — and why root-cause care matters.
Men make a greater contribution than they realize.
Sperm health directly influences not only conception but also placental development, miscarriage risk, and even the baby’s long-term health. The quality of the DNA being passed on matters — and it can be improved with time, nutrition, detoxification, and stress management. We want men to feel confident their sperm quality is the best it possibly can be for their partner and child’s health.
Sperm quality matters far more than most people realize. It's not just about getting pregnant — it also plays a key role in the health of the pregnancy itself. Poor sperm quality has been linked to higher risks of morning sickness, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and even complications with the placenta. That’s because sperm contributes half the DNA that forms the baby and the placenta, which is critical for nourishing and protecting both mom and baby throughout pregnancy. Supporting sperm health isn’t just about fertility — it’s about creating the healthiest possible start for both parents and child.
We believe that for optimal conception, men should commit to at least 6 months of becoming their healthiest selves alongside their partner. Fertility isn’t just a short-term role for men while women take on 9 months of abstaining from alcohol and pursuing optimal health. Both partners need to actively participate — eliminating alcohol, improving diet, and prioritizing lifestyle changes — starting at least 6 months before conception. And ideally, those healthy choices continue together throughout the entire pregnancy journey.
It’s time to separate ego from sperm quality. Fertility struggles are not a measure of masculinity. We need to normalize men getting tested, optimizing their health, and showing up for this process with humility and intention — not shame.
Chronic stress is one of the biggest saboteurs of fertility.
Stress isn’t just emotional — it’s physiological. High cortisol can disrupt ovulation, lower libido, and impact sperm quality. And the stress of “trying” can create even more tension in the body. Supporting your nervous system is not a luxury — it’s essential.
How Stress Impacts Fertility in Women:
When women experience chronic stress, the body often suppresses reproductive function to focus on survival. This can:
Disrupt the hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian (HPO) axis, leading to irregular or absent ovulation
Lower levels of progesterone, which is critical for implantation and pregnancy maintenance
Contribute to estrogen dominance, PMS symptoms, and menstrual irregularity
Increase the risk of miscarriage or implantation failure
Trigger inflammation and worsen underlying conditions like endometriosis or PCOS
The message your body sends under stress is: “Now is not a safe time to conceive.” Women are also generally more prone and sensitive to stress, so you can ask your partner to help eliminate stressors in your life.
How Stress Impacts Fertility in Men:
In men, stress affects the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal (HPG) axis, leading to:
Reduced testosterone levels, which lowers libido and sperm production
Lower sperm count and motility
Increased rates of abnormal sperm morphology (shape and structure)
Higher levels of oxidative stress, which can damage DNA within sperm cells
Poor ejaculatory function or performance anxiety
Sperm take about 72–90 days to regenerate, so ongoing stress can have lasting effects on male fertility.
Your body is intuitive. It’s designed to protect you — and your baby.
If your body isn’t prioritizing reproduction, it’s likely because it senses something is off. This doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means your body is wise. Our job is to help it feel safe, nourished, and ready again.
Miscarriage is more common than many realize, with up to 1 in 4 pregnancies ending in loss, often in the first trimester. Around 50–60% of early miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo, usually from random errors during cell division. Other contributing factors include hormonal imbalances, thyroid disorders, autoimmune issues, uterine abnormalities, and poor sperm or egg quality. While miscarriage is often out of anyone’s control, we believe understanding the root causes can guide more supportive, personalized care.
The fertility industry makes billions when simpler answers exist.
Let’s be honest: the system profits off of your pain. From endless diagnostics to costly IVF cycles, it’s easy to feel like your only option is to spend thousands. But often, fertility improves with personalized testing, root-cause healing, and non-invasive interventions. You deserve to know those options.
Fertility is not just about reproductive organs. It’s about whole-body, whole-life vitality — and that means bringing both partners into the conversation, with honesty, curiosity, and care.
Whether you’re trying for the first time, healing after loss, or on a longer journey than you imagined — we’re here to hold space, run the right labs, and design a plan based on your body’s story.
We’re working to create more comprehensive fertility programs available so we can support your based on your individual needs. We’ve recently added intralipid IV’s for those who would benefit from that support. You can call to book, and we can refer you to a provider locally who can assess if that would be a good option for you.
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And this journey is not without hope.